We’ve all been to family gatherings where a loved one offers unsolicited advice about what’s on — or off — our plate. Not to mention the uncomfortable conversations about diet- or weight-centric New Year’s resolutions. These conversations are already unhelpful, but they’re especially unhelpful to have with or around children. The average person only keeps their New Year’s resolutions for three months before reverting to old habits. Living a strong, healthy life is important, but it’s accomplished through so much more than food, resolutions, or weight loss.
Pediatric dietitians offer the following advice to parents and caregivers to encourage a sustainable and whole-health approach to food:
Get curious about the food, not about the person eating it or their behaviors.
Comment on the sensory experience of the food — its temperature, color, or texture — instead of sharing what you think is missing from someone’s plate.
Discuss the family traditions or culture that inspires the food at the table. Many foods we eat have stories behind them, and it’s best to keep the conversation focused on the food and not the person eating it.
Talk about how nice it is to share a meal and how grateful you are to have food to nourish your body.
Exercise for wellness, not weight loss.
Moving our bodies and being active is a healthy habit, but it should be done enjoyably and not feel like a chore.
If a family activity like running fits into your schedule, go for it. Just remember that physical activity keeps your body strong and shouldn’t be thought of as something done exclusively for weight loss.
Don’t comment about someone’s physical appearance.
Don’t comment or participate in conversations about how someone’s weight or body appearance has changed — either positively or negatively.
Shifting the conversation to the following topics can help children feel seen for who they are and not for the body they live in:
You’re so strong.
I love listening to your stories.
I love spending time with you.
I enjoy watching you play.
You make me smile.
You’re kind.
If adults practice healthy relationships with food, children will likely follow.
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