The chips are down, the clock’s running out, and the underdog is staging a comeback. Fans of sports movies know the scene well. Whether it’s the worst team in the league defying the doubters by winning it all by making a triumphant return, the crowd always goes wild. Even the titles of such classics as Miracle, Field of Dreams, Invincible, and Cinderella Man signify the everyday magic in making a comeback. Of course, instead of pixie dust, there’s blood, sweat, and tears involved—elements of the sports comeback as relatable as they are aspirational, which may explain why these stories are so appealing. Comeback stories resonate because we are all in need of a comeback at some point. Plus, experiencing a setback can unlock hidden strengths. Comeback stories point us to possibility. We need adversity in our lives to grow and to reach our full potential.
Elite athletes are adept at overcoming setbacks because it’s an important—even necessary—skill to get to the top of their game. But everyone can benefit from developing the ability “to recognize your own mistakes and use obstacles as a learning opportunity. While it’s easy to root for an underdog from the comfort of your couch, when your own clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose approach doesn’t pan out, how can you channel the resilience of great athletes to overcome your own everyday setbacks? Well, turns out there are some tried-and-true techniques to nailing it, and they won’t just help you navigate no-win situations but improve your overall life.
Always Keep Your Eyes on the Prize
There’s a reason this phrase is a pep talk favorite of coaches from the Little League to the NFL. When you experience a big setback in life, you feel lost, because you no longer know your purpose. The best way to ground yourself and set a firm foundation for moving forward is to construct a purpose that is self-transcendent. Translation: Your purpose should be personally fulfilling but also align with a larger goal of serving others (including, potentially, a higher power). Whether you want to run a charity race after healing from an injury or share a previously shelved passion project with the world, that purpose is your
“prize.”
Go for a Goal, Not Gold
The best defense is a good offense, and that’s where goal setting comes into play. This is the first, most important step in making a comeback because you need a clear, realistic goal to guide your motivation. Got one? Then envision yourself as a mountain climber next, with your aim at the peak—you can even draw it on a piece of paper. Think about it: You wouldn’t start climbing a mountain with just the hope of eventually making it to the top. First, you’d set up your base camp at the bottom, then chart a course with resting points at regular intervals along the way. To apply that mountaineer mindset here, you’ll also want to identify a subgoal that’s halfway up the summit. Then figure out the little steps required to get from the bottom of the mountain to the midway point. Do the same for the second half of the hike. Although this analogy may make your endeavor seem daunting, it’ll encourage you to break down your comeback into smaller, more manageable goals. Perhaps each step takes the form of a daily task, so you can track your progress weekly, like a training schedule. (Something you’d implement if you were coming back from a sports injury!) This approach gives you more control because it’s easier to stay on track when you know each small move to make.
Change the Way You Look at the Scoreboard
When you’re down 0–1 against life, it’s easy to think the game’s over. But being honest and hopeful about your stumble can help you bounce back. We can recognize that what we’re dealing with is challenging but also shift our attention. We can focus our minds on the possibility of something good coming from this experience. The result: Obstacles become opportunities—to learn, to grow, to pursue something new. Take a job loss, for example. You may be bummed at first, but can you focus on what you might gain—a new position that’s better suited to your personal goals, or the chance to change careers entirely—rather than what you’ve lost? This is where it connects to holding on to hope. We are anticipating the chance of a good outcome even though we’re facing this uphill battle. A positive perspective shift can also help you overcome smaller everyday setbacks, like forgetting about the cupcakes you promised to make for the bake sale at your kids’ school because you didn’t write down the date, for example. If you can have a positive attitude toward making mistakes, meaning you see them as tools that help you progress, it’s easier to accept fault and then focus on what you can do better next time.
Watch Game Film
After a team or athlete loses a game, they often have to duke it out with self-doubt. Otherwise, they get stuck in a thought loop about losing, and that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. To stop the spiral, there is a three-step approach in post-match debriefs with athletes to assess performance and plan for the next game. First, the athlete reflects on what they learned from the loss. Next, they consider how to avoid making those mistakes again. And finally, they think about which strategies still worked and how their overall gameplay has improved over time. When an athlete is reviewing a lost game, it’s important to end on a positive note by naming any elements they can use to boost their self-esteem, like a good pass or a quick-thinking block. This technique helps close the chapter on the last competition so they can focus on the future, she adds. While you may want to avoid thinking about your own setbacks, taking stock of what went wrong—and what went right—can be a necessary step to move forward.
Remember Your Team
Beyond reflecting on what led to a current loss, “it can be helpful to look back into the past and say, When have I come back previously? What did that look like?. That won’t show you only past paths to success; it’ll also highlight who helped you get through those difficult situations. The comeback doesn’t need to be done alone or in isolation. In fact, it shouldn’t be. The important people in your life—family, friends, even a therapist—play a crucial role in helping you get back on your feet, he explains. Whether they offer support or simply a different perspective, having people in your corner with whom you can be vulnerable about what you’re up against is extremely helpful. (Smells like team spirit!)
Leave It All on the Field—Literally
Athletes may have a single focus and determination within their sport, but they have many possible pathways to achieve it—and that’s how you practice resilience. When one strategy fails, they implement another. Whether in sports or in life, success isn’t purely the result of nonstop training; it’s also necessary to refuel with proper nutrition, rest, and self-care. You need physical recovery, but you also need mental recovery. You need that holistic approach, or you’ll burn out.
In research, it was found that elite cricket players who were completely absorbed in their sport were less consistent over time than those who had a life outside it (friends, family, hobbies, etc.). The same holistic approach will help you weather life’s setbacks as well. When you’re going through a breakup, for example, spending time with friends and on hobbies helps you regain a sense of who you are more quickly than if your life revolved around your relationship. There’s nothing wrong with being dedicated, but moderation matters more than you might think.
Know That One Loss Won’t Ruin a Season
False starts happen off the track too. When you’re learning a new skill or trying to improve an old one, success is not linear. You don’t just start here and keep improving forever.…There are ups and downs and lefts and rights—it’s a bit of a mess. Recognize that progression and regression are part of the process—in fact, it’s totally normal to encounter small setbacks. (That’s why you set all those mini goals along your mountain—those handholds and footholds will steady you when you stumble.) Focus on the process rather than just on the outcome. In fact, research shows that when professional cyclers focus solely on winning a race, some start to protect themselves from crashing and limit their speed, leading to loss of position. But when they focus on riding through each corner and obstacle on the mountain biking path, staying present in the process, they are more likely to do what’s necessary to win. It’s a worthwhile reminder that external motivators, like winning for its own sake, are not as powerful as internal ones, like doing the best you can.
Adapted from: WHM
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