It’s common to want to put others before yourself. Hey, it even feels like the right thing to do.
However, you may find more success lifting others up if you make your own well-being a top priority first. That’s where self-care comes in. Self-care is about taking action to preserve or improve your own physical, emotional, or spiritual health.
"We have to be able to take care of ourselves in order to take care of somebody else. If that means I’m not able to do something for someone in a certain situation, that’s just the reality.”
Creating a self-care routine is a good place to start. Eating right, getting enough sleep, and being active are the basics, but it goes well beyond that.
“What are those things I can do internally, that I have control over, that I can apply to live a life with a healthy well-being? Self-care is all about action. What am I going to do about all this?”
You are encouraged to think about four specific steps initially:
Be centered. Know what you believe. Practice gratitude.
Stay focused. Don’t forget what you believe. Lean into positive choices. Challenge and identify negative thoughts.
Find balance. Know how to prioritize and set short-term and long-term goals. Eat a balanced diet with plenty of water while limiting caffeine. Get your body moving at least once a day. Stay connected to loved ones who support you.
Seek margin. Embrace rest. Stick to a sleep schedule and limit screen time before bed.
Get enough ‘mental health rest’
Each step can take a lot of strategy to accomplish, especially the last one. Finding breaks in our day, and our lives can be challenging.
“We are collectively not very good at that. We’re just not good at it. So, I say embrace it because you kind of have to run it down."
Saying you can’t find the time doesn’t work. It’s not sustainable and it will catch up with you eventually.
“We call it margin. Is a person getting adequate mental health rest? Are you having enough personal pleasures in your life where you can actually experience joy and happiness? Are you allowing that and are you finding time for that to happen in your life?”
When we’re not, that’s when we can run into issues.
“It can lead to them being disappointed. It can lead to depression. We tend to be competitive. We tend to be perfectionistic, and we tend to be altruistic. When those all are running at high gear, sometimes it’s just not healthy for the individual.”
Operating your life efficiently, because we only have so much energy, is the goal. That may look different for everyone. Knowing when you’re beyond what you can efficiently handle will prevent you from burning out.
“You have to take a step off that mental speeding treadmill. It might be a five-minute break or it might be a two-hour evening. It might be a one-week vacation with your family. We all need different margins. We need that rest – including that sleep rest – in our lives."
‘Never worry alone’
Having an accountability partner ratchets up the success rate of any self-care routine.
“The key thing we talk about within the wellness programs within Sanford is we have the mantra, ‘Never worry alone'.
That partner can be a family member, friend or healthcare professional.
“When we’re feeling like our mental health is waning, that’s when we really ask people to reach out."
Getting someone else’s perspective on what you’re going through can make a big difference.
People need to be guided to think about awareness, attitude, action, and accountability when trying to be their best selves.
“Let’s make you aware of the need to take care of yourself. You have a certain amount of energy and it’s not sustainable. Are you aware of that? The attitude part is, ‘Well, what do I want to do about it?’ Are you going to fight it? Are you going to accept it or are you going to be encouraged by it?”
Action can vary depending on the chemical imbalances people can face meaning prescriptions could help.
“Sometimes it helps to have medications for those, and other times it has more to do with therapy and non-pharmacologic treatment. Addressing it is the key piece. To keep that internal tends to lead to more serious mental health problems.”
Outline self-care at checkups
Easy entry into some of these conversations can be at your annual health screenings. Getting a mammogram or staying up to date on immunizations are forms of self-care and put you in front of folks who want to help you thrive.
“An outline to self-care would be all those things we do for our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Am I up to date on my immunizations? Am I doing my cancer screenings for my age and my gender?”
People need to recognize when they may be pushing it too hard.
“Mental health screening surveys should be offered and encouraged by Healthcare Professionals. Everyone should get screened for that on a regular basis for depression and anxiety.”
The screenings can help identify if a person is seeing negative lifestyle changes such as eating or sleeping too much.
Other changes may include:
Disconnecting from loved ones or hobbies
Low energy and unexplained pain like headaches or stomach aches
Excessive drinking, smoking or drug use
Constant worrying or thoughts of self-harm or hurting others
If anyone is experiencing these symptoms, they should reach out to their primary care provider. A provider can help you feel better and connect you with a behavioral health specialist if needed.
While self-care can force us into some difficult chats or decisions, it’s an area of your life worth exploring with or without a healthcare professional.
Adapted from: Sanford Health
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